I Want to Let You Go, but I Want to Be With You Forever. Fare Well, Be Mine.

How do you let someone go when you love them?

It’s time for her to move on. The time we had was beautiful. Our love has grown deeper over time. But ultimately, I want the best for her. And the best for her and her family is not being in this situation with me forever. We’ve had much more time together than either of us anticipated, and we went so much deeper than either of us could have imagined. It’s been a blessing.

Accept that this is coming to an end. Let it go gracefully and gratefully. Give her your love, old friend, all of it, generously and sweet and honest in these last and final days. Let her feel how much she means to you, without unloading the heaviness within your heart on her that life without our union will be.

Sometimes I wonder: Is this all a foolish illusion? Have I fallen in a stupid kind of love, like a 14-year-old? It feels like that, and yet, few things ever felt as true as the special bond we share.

Do raindrops feel this way when they fall out of their cloud? Flowers in bloom when they lose their petals?

I’ve never loved this deeply, never felt so at home.

And yet, all this is within me, and you have shown me the way. I just wish I could keep walking along this path holding your hand like we used to. There are so many more adventures for us to be lived through.

Or is it time for us to embark on a new adventure alltogether—the adventure of separate ways?

I do wonder about this, every day. Torn between these choices.

It’s a rare blessing to meet someone with whom you can so freely be yourself, who so fully can see you completely, and love you, all your parts. I understand and love you for all your weaknesses and flaws, and you see so much of me that you envelope with your soft, gentle, deep love.

Through all the ups and downs, the fights and doubts, the hurts and heartaches, I’ve never not seen you. What have you done? How did you transform this heart that felt so strong and safe into what it is now: floating, free, without cover, open and bare. So much more sensitive than I ever imagined possible.

I want to set you free and make you mine. How do I resolve this? The truth of the heart and the truth of the world. I know they are the same, deep down, but higher up I’m scared, controlled by fear. Let her go, head says, let her go. This is a childish fantasy, how would things play out? You know better than that. And yet, and yet…

The most beautiful, and the most difficult.

Go one, be free, live your life, follow your dream, and be mine.

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